Book Review: "With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect" by Stefani Goerlich, PhD
I received an advanced reader copy (ARC) by Netgalley and Sounds True Publishing, my thanks, in exchange" for an honest review.
I recently had the pleasure of reviewing a nonfiction relationship book that delves into a topic outside my usual comfort zone and expertise. As many of my readers are aware, I am a psychotherapist, and dedicating time to professional development is paramount to me. Discussing sex with clients has been an area for personal growth. It's an uncomfortable topic in my personal life, making it challenging to broach with clients (ironically, I find it easier to discuss with clients). "With Sprinkles On Top" appealed to me for review because I recognized the value it could bring to my professional development and, consequently, to the clients I work with.
"In sex as in baking, vanilla is the starting point from which we add all those lovely things that are enhanced and elevated by its presence: sprinkles of transparency, curiosity, openness, communication, passion, and always love."
The book caters to both laypeople and professionals, although it leans more toward the everyday person, which is perfectly fine. For some, the subjects of sex, BDSM, and kink can be intimidating, and the author skillfully eases readers into the subject matter. The author alternately addresses the 'vanilla' person and the 'kinky' person, a particularly helpful approach as each side of the coin possesses unique needs, concerns, thoughts, and feelings related to this topic. While the overall tone of the book is geared towards relationships and couples, the information proves highly useful for discussing this sensitive topic with others. The 272-page book feels bite-sized and digestible.
“Kink is simply anything that falls outside of the social and cultural idea of “normal” sexual expression and relationship style”.
The standout features of the book include the author's personal stories as a sex therapist, the activities they've utilized with clients, and the inclusion of downloadable PDFs containing these activities. These activities serve a dual purpose, suitable for use with a partner or as interventions in my therapeutic practice. I absolutely appreciate the versatility.
Now, dear reader, you may be curious as to why I rated this book 3.25 stars. Let me clarify; this is a GOOD book, rich with valuable knowledge. I will enthusiastically recommend it to others, including fellow therapists. However, it falls short of being the best psychology book I've ever read (and I've read plenty!). A 3-star rating, for me, means 'I liked it,' making it a commendable rating.
“This book is a work of compassion and hope, sensuality and pragmatism. Together, we will gain appreciation for the full spectrum of sexual and relational diversity – including the fullness and depth of “vanilla” relationships.”
So, if you're seeking a book to enhance your understanding of communication about sex, delve into information about BDSM/Kink, or merely satisfy your curiosity on the subject, this is an approachable and informative read!
Happy reading!
Bobbi
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